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Average Member
 
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hey guys, I think most of this will just be a rant, but I would like some input as well. My horse, is well, not the most loving or sympathetic. Take a look at my signature, thats his usual face. He's only 9, but hes already my angry old man. I do believe Scrooge would have been a more appropriate name for him. Now despite all this I love the lil bugger. He's been my brat for almost 4 years now. So usually I just laugh off his hostility, but its gotten worse lately. I know its because Ive been stressed and short tempered. Its finals week at college, Im moving in a week, and was just in a car wreck and totaled my car. So its alot to deal with. So now when he gets snippy with me and growls or bares his teeth, I tend to return the attitude. Now mind you I dont abuse my horse, I dont hit him. I just yell and stomp and just look scary. He runs off, I get a minute to cool off, he slowly comes back, we both apologize, and its ok for the time. I know its not the worst thing in the world, but I just keep worrying, what if he stops coming back to apoligize. will he really stop forgiving me? He's my world, I know I need to be a better person so we get along better. I think once the move is done things will get alot better, right? I just want to know how you guys deal with it when your horse frustrates you and whats a better way to deal with it?
glad to get beat up every day by my painted beastlifes better in black and white 
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Junior Member
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From personal experience I used to think that going out and riding when I was mad or frustrated was a good way to calm down, but I have learned the complete opposite. I would just end up doing something that I would regret later. The best advice I have is if you can't leave you feelings at the barn door than just say hello, or groom them. Don't try and work with them when your stressed out it only makes you feel worse. I love my boys but you have got to know when to walk away so that you don't end up feeling worse later.
All my dreams ride on the back of a mustang, all my hopes flow in his mane and tail, all my love is in his heart, and his breath relieves my sorrow.
Melissa
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Average Member
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| What are some things that he really enjoys? Take them away when he's mean. If he is mean to you when you're feeding him, take away the feed, put where he can see it but can't reach it, for about ten minutes, and try again. Stay patient. Just calm down and take everything one step at a time. If he is mean to you, glare into his eye for a quick moment, hiss and turn away from him, fold your arms, and don't look at him. Be just out of his reach, so if he senses that you're hurt, he might try to reconcile. There's a horse at the barn that does that. When I try to pet him, he clamps his teeth and swings his head around. I glare at him, hiss, and go right out of his reach without looking at him. He thinks for a few seconds and then tries to nudge me with his muzzle. My favorite horse at the barn can be very bratty. She is a mare, so she dislikes pretty much everything at first. I carry a crop when I groom her. She gives me hate looks, but she doesn't do anything, because she knows I have a crop. Talk firmly to him, but politely. He might be trying to establish authority, so just calmly ignore his feeble threats and teach him how to do something just to show him that he needs to do what you say. PM me sometime, let me know how it goes!
-MissEquestrian
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Senior Member
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| I agree with Darlaur. If you're frustrated, it's not going to go well. Go out, visit, maybe groom him, but don't ask a lot. I like to just go and sit in the barn or stand out in the paddock when I'm frustrated and just watch. My horses come say hi, and then they go do their thing. Another good thing to do when you're angry is to clean stalls. But only when you're the only one in the stall--when you're angry you can get violent with that pitchfork!
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
-The show must go on, Queen
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Junior Member
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| First off, you're DEFINITELY NOT alone here. I'm actually going through a similar slump too. I have an 8 year old Paint mare (Sierra) and I've owned her for 3 1/2 years (so we're 1/2 a year behind you). I've been very busy with work and a lot of other things, so this past year, I've only had time to ride for competiitons. She became very sour about entering the arena after a few runs in competition and she's fighting me on one of the trails. I'm going to give you the advice I've been given and hopefully we can come through our slumps together......So here's what I'm doing and have been told...... Sierra's herd-bound to one of a filly in the field. My barn owner is helping me to retrain her and reteach her respect to try and break the sourness. If they respect you, they won't give you as hard a time because they will recognize YOU as the BOSS. When it comes to the attitude, leave it FAR AWAY from the barn. This past Sunday, I got to the barn, brought Sierra in her stall and just hung out there crying hysterically. I've got a lot going on and I just hit a wall, lost my confidence in all aspects of my life, you name it. Horses are VERY sensitive and they pick up on your mood, but don't understand WHY you're in the mood. They will assume it's them and it's going to hurt the relationship. Do whatever it takes to leave the bad mood as FAR AWAY from the barn as possible. Take some time to get back to the bonding basics - just bring him in his stall and groom him, take him for walks, give him extra treats. Just hang out with him and talk to him, sing to him, give him kisses and hugs and all out love. You both need the down time to just relax and rebuild your bond. I did this last night with Sierra. I went down, put her in the stall w/ hay and just groomed her, spoke to her, sang, gave her LOTS of hugs, kisses, and some treats. It was amazing how calm we both were and I truly felt our bond grow last night. It definitely felt so good just having that quiet time. Hopefully with more bonding and down time and more round pen training, it'll help get Sierra back to where I want her to be. Hopefully this can help you and your horse also. Just remember you're not alone and things will get better. I'm here if you need to talk.
"There is a big difference between being a cowboy and being a cowman." Terry Kombol
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Junior Member
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Darlaur (12/9/2008)
From personal experience I used to think that going out and riding when I was mad or frustrated was a good way to calm down, but I have learned the complete opposite. I would just end up doing something that I would regret later. The best advice I have is if you can't leave you feelings at the barn door than just say hello, or groom them. Don't try and work with them when your stressed out it only makes you feel worse. I love my boys but you have got to know when to walk away so that you don't end up feeling worse later. I agree! I find when I ride when I stressed about exams or etc. I ride horribly and I tend to be too demanding of my horse, then get frustrated with her very easily.. so It's probably better to not ride when you are stressed about other things
brooke:. Western Pleasure / Hunter Under Saddle <3.
Miss Quick Bonanza (Tiffany) <3 registered APHA
mail- brookey55@hotmail.com
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Junior Member
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Yes... I agree with Darlaur aswell. Just leave it at the door. I know Kazaam (my horse), If i'm angry & start talking rudely/yelling at someone his ears go back & then he gets angry. & of course when he's angry he doesn't do anything & then i get angry/frustrated with him... so being angry really doesn't get me anywhere. I'm sorry though, I don't really know what else to say. But I hope this helped a bit. Good luck with everything!
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Advanced Member
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IM HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM! I WAS ABOUT TO POST THE TOPIC ABOUT IT!
well i cant help you except reccomending you take more B vitamins and some FishOil (thats about all the help my mommy the doctor was to me.. when i asked her for help
 
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Senior Member
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When I get frustrated with my horse (and vice versa) we trail ride. Just do nothing but trail ride for a few days in a row. It helps me to look at things with a more positive view (unless you hate trail riding...haha )
Like a horse in open country, they did not stumble. ~Isaiah 63:13
But ask the animals, and they will teach you ~Job 12:7a
"You don't throw a whole life away, just 'cause it's beat up a little" ~ Tom Smith, Seabiscuit's trainer
Please join the Thoroughbred Owners and Enthusiasts Club if you love Thoroughbreds! www.thoroughbredtalk.webs.com
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Average Member
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Last Login: 11/1/2009 12:45:02 PM
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thank you guys for all your help. it meant alot to know that im not alone. I think things are going to start getting better, exams are done and over with so Ive got a month off to start bonding again. I know better than to ride when upset, lesson learned the hard way. He seems to know now to at least put for some effort into being nice, and I think were turning over a new leaf, yesterday was a very good day for us. Again I can thank you all enough for just being here to listen and to help out
glad to get beat up every day by my painted beastlifes better in black and white
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